One Almost Too Many
by ShutUpAndPull
Summary: A one-shot set during ep 4x16: "Linchpin" - Rick unexpectedly knocks on Kate's door and he claims it's for a very simple reason, but what comes of it is anything but.


_**One Almost Too Many**_

Rick rolled up onto his side, his eyes fixed on the closed bathroom door, and he listened as the water tumbled down the length of Kate's body to the tile below, its sound as melodic as it was arousing, and though he wanted nothing more than to climb from her bed and to go to her to demonstrate, once again, the profound power she held over his body, he managed to talk himself down from the impulse, a practice he'd grown all too familiar with across his time with her.

Despite what they'd done to each other's bodies in the darkness of the previous hours, he still feared taking one step too far, feared pushing her back out beyond his reach, where, up until last night, she'd seemed most comfortable to reside. But whatever early line had been drawn, whatever rules had been set in place-neither by him-had, for a brief time, faded into a frenzy of unconstrained hunger, and he'd matched every ounce of her fire, and now he couldn't bear even the possibility that what was might not be again.

 **xxxx**

Kate wasn't expecting the knock at her door that night, and certainly not from Rick, their earlier butting of heads over the direction of the case and Sophia's involvement in combination with the awkward Alexis incident at the morgue making his appearance all the more surprising. She hadn't yet showered away the hell of their day, a day in which they found themselves, one more time, on the lucky end of a fight for their lives, and her energy tank was utterly drained, but there he was, unchanged and unannounced, with a smile on his face she just couldn't manage to reciprocate.

"What are you doing here, Castle?" she asked, absent the pleasantries and with a residual bite from their prior exchanges.

"Wow, I just got here, Detective. How could I possibly have pissed you off already? Must be some kind of record," he offered humorously, though he, too, projected something of an air in response to her perceived tone. "Am I interrupting something or can I come in for a minute?"

Kate stepped back and let him pass, more because she couldn't fight her curiosity than anything else. "Was everything okay with Alexis after...?" She closed the door and followed him inside, hoping whatever it was that'd brought him there would bring itself to a swift conclusion.

"Alexis was perfectly Alexis after, as she always is. Basically, I felt like I'd been sent to my room."

She crossed the room and dropped down onto the couch. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you're probably used to that by now." Rick moved with her but remained standing just across the way. "So, what do you want, Castle? What couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

He dipped into his pocket, pulled out the folded piece of paper Sophia had given him, and slid it to her across the coffee table. "I thought you'd want to see this. It's Blakely's bank account information."

"It's _what_?" Kate asked incredulously. "How the hell did you get this?" She unfolded it and studied it as he looked on, knowing the question was inevitable yet wishing he knew a good way to avoid the answer. "Castle, tell me how you got this. And when?"

"Well, now that's a funny story, actually. Um-"

"Castle," she grumbled, and she didn't need to say anything more.

"I found Sophia waiting for me in my bedroom when I got home tonight and she gave it to me," Rick confessed in one swift exhale of breath.

Kate felt the jealousy bubble up inside of her just hearing the name tumble from his mouth, and though it wasn't the first time she'd experienced the emotion where he was concerned, Sophia had unquestionably inspired its most powerful incarnation. Not only had she once been in her very muse shoes, but she'd also been in Rick's bed, and no matter how doggedly she tried to banish that image from her mind, it had invaded and taken hold with ferocity.

"You just found her in your bedroom?" She hated herself for asking the second she heard the words come out of her mouth, but it was already too late to do anything about it.

"I'm telling you, the woman has got CIA skills," he replied, his verbal applause of no help at all, "but not like, I didn't...I mean, we didn't-"

"I don't care what the two of you did or didn't do, Castle," Kate barked in interruption. "What happens in your bedroom is of no concern to me." That was an outright lie, of course. "I care about why she gave this to you," she said, tossing the paper back onto the table. "A few hours ago she wanted us gone, remember? We were 'a mistake,' I think it was."

"You know, that's funny, because it sure sounds to me like you care," Rick said, moving for the opposite end of the couch to sit. "I know I would. Hell, I know I did."

"Yeah, well, then you need your hearing examined. I told you, Castle, sleep with whoever the hell you want."

"Actually, it's _whom_ ever, but...that's not really the point, so just forget I said that," he sputtered, feeding off her expression. "And just to be clear here, even if Sophia wanted to sleep with me, I don't want to sleep with her."

Kate pulled the clip out of her hair and let it fall across her shoulders, its wild waves the result of their battle with the river. "Castle, why are we even still talking about this? I just want to take a hot shower and go to bed, okay? In case you forgot, we almost died today."

Rick pushed up from the couch and tugged his jacket straight. "No, Kate, I didn't forget, thanks. And imagine my surprise that you don't want to talk about something. Sorry I bothered you. Enjoy your shower," he said as he turned and walked off. "I'll be at the precinct early tomorrow. Business as usual."

"Is that why you came here tonight, Castle, to make me feel like shit? Congratulations on a job well done." She'd gotten up and followed, just a few steps behind. "Next time just call and save yourself the cab fare."

Rick stopped suddenly and Kate nearly walked right into him. "No, that isn't why I came here tonight, but you don't want to hear the truth, so why don't we just pretend I was a messenger delivering a package and my work here is done. You think you can handle that? Is that easy enough for you?"

"Okay, Castle, let's have it then. Come on. You win. Now's your chance to say whatever the hell it is you really want to say instead of talking in these bullshit circles. You came all the way over here, so it must be really important."

He took the one step between them that he could and she could practically feel the charge radiating off of him. "Go ahead and mock me all you want, but you want to know why I'm here, Kate? I'm here because tonight I told Sophia that you were different, that you were more than research for some damn book, and when she'd gone and I finally had two seconds to think about everything that happened to us today, I realized all I wanted to do was to see your face and to hear your voice."

Kate looked to the floor to help steady herself for what else might come. "Castle," she said, in the most demure of voices, a pronounced shift from just seconds before.

Rick reached out and set his hand against the edge of the countertop, likewise affected by what had seemingly begun. "I can't keep doing this, Kate. I can't keep living these moments with you and pretending the reality that there might not be a tomorrow doesn't exist. Maybe you can, but I can't. Not anymore."

This was it. This was the moment she'd played over and over again in her mind since she'd sent him out of her hospital room that day all those months ago, the moment she'd spent so much energy hiding from, and not because it wasn't what she wanted, but because it was, and that terrified her. She'd been working for this-for them, facing her demons, scratching and clawing at her past, all with their future in her heart, yet it suddenly felt as though none of it had truly prepared her for the power of its arrival.

"I don't…What do you want me to say, Rick?"

"What do I want you to say? I want you to say that you understand, Kate, that there are nights when you have to fight everything inside of you not to come and knock on my door or pick up the phone just to hear my voice. I want you to say that every day is better because I'm in it, and when I'm not around you it feels like something is missing." Their bodies were so close but she didn't back away. "What I don't want you to say is that I'm alone in this because I won't believe you, and because I think we both deserve more than that."

All she could hear was Dr. Burke's voice in her head. _Leaping doesn't always mean falling, Kate. There are people in your life who want to catch you. You just have to be willing to let them._ Rick was one of those people. He had been since the very beginning; she was as certain about that as she was about her love for him. But the act of giving that love a voice, of sending it out into the world for the Fates to meddle with as they'd done so cruelly before, of opening herself up to the possibility of hurt when so many of her years had already been consumed by it, had remained a captive of her fear for so long.

"You don't know how hard this is for me, Castle."

"Are you kidding me, Kate? You think this has all been a cakewalk for me? You think it's easy to put on a happy face all the time when the thing you want most in the world is the closest thing to you and you can't just reach out and grab it? I live incredible days, wonderful days, yes, but I live agonizing days, too, and there is nothing easy about them."

It was there. It was right there, so close she could taste the words on her tongue. "I want…"

"What? What do you want?" Rick prodded when she fell silent, and when she gave nothing more he turned again to go. "Right. Okay."

"Castle, wait, please don't." She caught him after a couple of steps, the back of his coat clenched in her fist. Her eyes had filled with tears and she could barely make out his face in their blur, but as messy as she'd made it and as overwhelming as it all was, she couldn't let him go. "Fuck, just...you're not alone, okay?" Her hand drifted to his wrist and she held him tight. "Please don't leave like this."

They stood motionless in that spot, just looking at one another for what felt like hours before either spoke. "Well, you know, you could maybe try to sound a little happier about it. I mean, we have waited four long years for this. It's not like I just stole your lunch money," he teased.

She still had a hold on him, but it softened some with his levity. "Oh, have _we_ been waiting? Really? Please try to only speak for yourself, Castle. That seems to get you in enough trouble as it is." She grinned when he offered only a shrug. "And just out of curiosity, what have _we_ been waiting four years for, exactly?"

Rick appreciably puffed himself up with conceit. "Why, the moment when you finally admitted how much you want me, have wanted me, and will always want me, Detective. And, sure, my version was a bit wordier-occupational hazard-but your eyes say it all," he told her, wiping a tiny tear from her cheekbone. "They're your Achilles' heel, by the way. They always give you away."

Kate released her grip pushed in, her body definitively invading his space. "What are my eyes saying right now, Castle?"

"I'm, um," he began before clearing her tempting proximity from his throat, "I'm going to go with either: _Shit, I forgot to buy bananas_ or _Castle, stop talking,_ and if I'm right, I hope there's some sort of a prize."

She tossed him a customary roll of her eyes and backed off. "How the hell did this happen, Castle? I was just supposed to come home and go to bed."

"This happened because it was supposed to happen," he told her in all sincerity. "And a little bit because of a seat belt." This time he moved in for her. "Now, I know this is all very new, Detective-and by all, I mean you finally admitting you want me-but you should know there's no way in hell I'm not going to kiss you senseless right now. And it won't be like the last time, either, all rushed and filled with bad guy. So, please do what you have to do to prepare."

Kate turned away, looked back over her shoulder. "Okay, well, is the entryway doin' it for ya or can we maybe..."

"Oh, we can definitely," Rick responded with enthusiasm. "Allow me." He spun and offered her his back. "Climb on."

"Castle, come on. I'm tired but my legs do still work."

"They certainly do," he said calling them up. "But I said climb on. Please, allow me to transport you...and then to transport you," he joked, the waggle of his brow audible in his words. She finally climbed on piggyback-style, albeit reluctantly, though she quietly enjoyed the contact-not a common circumstance for them. "Where to, m'lady?"

"Bed's in the bedroom, Castle. Just felt right." She flicked the back of his earlobe and he pushed out a phony chuckle. "Besides, I'm not sure my couch could handle your senseless the way you built it up. You realize if we do this right now you're going to have to deliver, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not alone, remember? You said that, Detective, so if I have to deliver, you have to deliver."

Rick tromped past the kitchen and into the bedroom, the only light emanating from the bathroom, and he twisted and dropped her onto her back on the bed. Overheated from more than just the brief workout, he peeled off his jacket and tossed it towards the nearby chair but missed, and it fell into a pile on the floor.

"Smooth, very smooth," Kate needled, balanced up on her elbows.

"You know, I might've liked it better when you were pissed off at me." He came and stood at her knees at the foot of the bed. "I'm supposed to be in charge of the wiseass in this relationship, remember?"

Kate pushed slowly backwards and left him standing there. "What do I get to be in charge of?" she asked, her voice dripping with suggestion.

"Right now, I'm going to say pretty much everything else because I'm a little bit afraid to rock this boat at the moment. It's sailing pretty well for me." He set his hands on the bed and began his crawl towards her. "But I reserve the right to amend my answer at a time when I can actually think clearly, so don't get too excited."

She let her knee fall open in silent invitation and he slid his body into the space between her legs. "Oh, so you _don't_ want me to get too excited, then?" She could already feel him as he settled in against her. "Kinda getting mixed messages, here, Castle."

"Had I known you were this naughty, Detective, I would've come to your apartment late one night after an old flame dropped by my place to hand over potential evidence in a classified government case following a near-death experience in the Hudson River a lot sooner."

Kate reached out and grabbed his ear. "Are you in my bed for the first time and mentioning another woman?"

His face scrunched up in feigned thought. "Is it wrong that the only thing I took from that was ' _first_ time'?"

"And I reserve the right to declare this the only time when _I_ can actually think clearly, Castle, so don't get too excited." She wet her lips and he came for her mouth.

"Your fault. Too late."

 **xxxx**

The water stopped and Rick had to remind himself to breathe as he watched and waited for the bathroom door to pull open. It was seconds or minutes-he could no longer tell which-before Kate appeared, the steam from inside wafting around her form and into the bedroom along with the sweet scent of her.

She stood at a lean against the doorframe and watched as he took her in, her want of him sparked all over again the instant her eyes met his. "You cannot do that today," she told him. "I'll never be able to get any fucking work done if you do that, Castle." She looked away, down, anywhere, as she battled her mind for control.

His body still bare, Rick pushed the sheet aside and sat up, tossed his legs over the side of the bed and let them dangle there. "Do what?" he asked, craving the answer, whatever it may be. "I'm just sitting here."

Kate drew a hand through her wet hair, utterly flustered by his assured demeanor. "Look at me like that," she managed to push out despite her brain's contradictory screams for more. "I need to be-"

Whatever it was, it had to wait, because he didn't want to. One glimpse of her was all it took for his trepidation to subside, for boldness to replace his worry. "Come here," he said with all the confidence she would.

She took four silent steps on her own before he reached out and tugged at the knot of her robe to guide her the remaining distance. Her fingers grazed the skin of his thighs as he settled her in, and she felt an instant rush, a sensation she now craved, even in its newness. "This case, Castle, and Gage, I have to focus."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" With the help of his other hand, he pulled the silk knot loose until the ends of the sash fell to her sides. "And I've looked at you like this for four years, Detective," he said, stealing a taste of the sliver of the freshly exposed skin at her breast. "Why do you think _I_ get so little fucking work done?"

He hummed unwittingly with the contact and she felt her body pulse in its soft vibration. "Is that why?" she asked with a chuckle, his hair clutched in her fingers as his mouth continued its exploration. "Here I thought this was all just fun and games for you." He stopped and pulled back with the inadvertent jab. "Did you look at her like that?"

"I've never looked at anyone like that," he said matching her tone. "I told you what Sophia was." He pushed his arms inside her robe and around her waist like it was something he'd done a thousand times before. "And that was all she was." His thumb tickled inadvertent circles along her lower back. "Hey, look at me. You're worried about something."

"Aren't you, Rick?"

"Honest answer? Yes, but probably not about what you think. Look, Kate, I know what you've been through and how difficult it is for you to let people in, but I know those things because I've been here, and there's nowhere else I want to be." He drew his hands down her legs and back up again. "And I truly believe that what happened here last night, as unexpected as it was, was supposed to happen. We are supposed to happen."

Kate pinched him on the thigh and he protested with something of a squeal. "Fuck you and your always having words to say."

"Lucky for you, that can now be easily arranged. You just say the word…or do that other thing. That also works very well, evidently."

She drew a fingertip along his bottom lip and he kissed it as it moved. "We have to talk, you know. It was a lot."

"I know it was."

She dipped her shoulder and allowed her robe to slide down one arm. "But I don't want to talk right now."

"I know you don't," he said, helping it drop to the floor. "Because you have to focus." He kissed her belly, his tongue sampling the warmth of her skin.

"No," she said, pushing him back on the bed, "I'm not in this alone, Castle. We have to focus."

"Touché, Detective, touché."


End file.
